Heart Break

So, I was in a relationship with a girl for 7 months, and about 3 1/2 months ago, we broke up. This was no ordinary relationship though. I mean, in the sense that yeah, it was only 7 months....but, it was the quickest, most passionate and intense relationship I've ever been in. She was one of a kind. But that works in both ways, it's a double meaning. Yea, she's unique, and rather attractive, and was the cutest thing ever...but life threw a curve ball at me-just as the blog about life in general states. Lying and betraying my trust are the two upmost things I don't stand for...so I walked away. Let me tell you all-THIS IS THE HARDEST THING I'VE EVER HAD TO DO!!! It's so so hard. Sometimes I feel the urge to call this girl, on nights when I'm alone, but I won't let myself, even to the point of holding the phone in my hand with all but one digit to go on dialing her number. My Lord, I never knew it would be this way. I mean, seriously. I had to separate my feelings from necessities, and what I wanted, from what I needed.

Now, I'm just starting, I mean, at this moment, I'm JUST STARTING to repair and restore myself back to who I am, or some state similar to normalcy. I mean, I'm now still finding out who I am as a person...as I will be doing for the rest of my life. This though, I'd say this is the point in which I pick myself up, piece by piece, and thoroughly consider where I am, and I'm telling myself "This is where I need to be, alone, and figuring what's best, Heart-it's okay to hurt, but don't let it get the best of you, and Mind-ease up, but help keep me steady." Wow, I just sometimes wish I could close my eyes, and wake up, and she'd be there, and actually be good for me...but I won't, and she's not. I guess this helps me in my ongoing journey toward the definition of: Who I am...