California, Here I Come

So, it's another summer, and I've already booked a flight out to San Francisco to record with my uncle.

This time, I'm taking my girlfriend with me. Talk about the epitome of what I want in life!

I can't wait to get out there and record. I've already went in winter of 2006, and I completed 3 songs, but I plan to record around 5-7 more this summer. I leave on the 15th of June, and I can't wait!

I'm so stoked!

This is what makes me the most complete and happy...music, and my girl.

My journey continues this June, and I hope to find the tones I've been searching for, and to find MY SOUND.

Dear sound,

I've been chasing you forever,
And I'm hoping that this letter,
Will bring you confidence,
To come to me,
In all reality.
Please come home...

So, here's another Eric Ulliman declaration:

Watch out world!-Here I come, and I'm bigger and ready than EVER!!!

May God bless you all, and I hope all stays and goes well for you!

Where I'm Going

"I can't shake the demons on my tail, and I can't lose the shadows that infiltrate my mind."
-Me


I know I'm not the only out there who has these questions, these doubts, these suspicions, about everything in life exploring my very own existence. I'm not here to say how to go about this, I'm only here to state what I believe.

I stand in a muddle of many different factors that make up one life. My existence is that of one more heart beating, one more set of eyes looking, one more pair of lungs to breathe the air; to share the air without consequence. One of billions. That means that there are billions of minds asking the same question. We are all throwing these questions in the air hoping gravity will bring them down with an answer attached. It's not that simple. That's what is hard to grasp, this concept of difficulty, and it's the learning curve that makes us unique.

I say embrace it, love it, nurture this with great care. Treat this like a relationship, don't overwhelm it, but love it with all your heart, and show it your appreciation: explore the lack of boundaries, and come up with your own response.

"Where there is questioning, there is exploring, and where there is learning, there is wisdom."
-Me

The construct of human nature is that of finding a purpose, the reason we are here, why we do what we do. We can't avoid this. But what if it's more than a purpose; rather, a choice. What if there really is no infrastructure, socially and psychologically which we can't overcome and will determine our outcome, our life. Humans adapt. We have this amazing ability to overcome environments, social status, and barriers that are set up. There's a reason the few people who succeed, do. This is they see that NOTHING is impossible. It's more than accomplishment, it's more than purpose, it's more than existence...It's Human.

Life

I've officially decided that I am one fucked up individual.

Life is throwing so much at me. I don't know how to react, or how I should deal with the cards that are being dealt to me. I have a great life, nothing could be better. Yet, I react so shitty to things, and cause pain to those who I love the most.

I don't know what to do...where's the relief team to come in and save the day?
Why do I have to be such a messed up person?
Why do I exist if all I do is mess up people's lives?
This raises questions as to why God would create me. My purpose I'll serve in this world is so questionable right now...

Yet, Music still remains my escape. Music is my purpose...

Just how do I get it?

And why do I fuck other people's lives up on the way?

They don't deserve it, and I love them so much...

New CD, New Life...

Here it goes, to all you google dwelling, web-surfing goons, whoever reads my posts out there, here it is: I have a new CD that I'm working on. I don't know when it'll be released, but it will be released within the year. We'll see how it goes, we'll see how it feels, we'll see where I feel it belongs. I know it's been a while since I've last released a new CD, but, I want to take my time and wait and record until it's right, exactly where I feel it fits. I want it to be what I see it as, and what the world should hear it as. Wherever music takes me, I never fear, but where it leads the public, is a different story. But I trust in myself and my music that I won't have to worry. I just hope that you all hear it and stop for a moment, and in that one moment you say in your mind, "Wow, I never thought of it that way, I want to hear more of this sound." So, when it's released, I will obviously let ya'll know! But until then, happy journeys, and happy days, and may your lives be bright...

Overcoming a stubborn offense

Hello fellow bloggers...come one, come all, here me out on one of the most difficult things I've ever dealt with...stubbornness. So, something happens, someone does something that throws you off, and provokes your feelings, kicks you out of the house they just opened the door and welcomed you into. This is one of life's funny little misunderstandings. I hate it, I personally wish it would be easier than this. But, when the door gets opened up again, you walk back in, and right after they offer you to sit on the couch and make yourself at home, they act as if they weren't wrong for initially kicking you out, regardless of the fact that it was over an argument in which you were only standing up for yourself and your beliefs.
This only leads to butting heads and two hearts falling off their once secure set of tracks. What I just don't get is the tyranny of stubbornness. It rules your judgement, it won't let you see the other side, only your side. There's no beating out stubbornness, except I've found one remedy that might work. This remedy: time. I give things time, which in turn allows my thoughts to be logical instead of based on my emotion. Time is all we need, yet living in a world where there seems to never be enough of it, we just need to sit back and take a deep breath and let all soak in, let it marinate. Understand, it'll be hard, and it's still something that I am getting used to. With this time, it opens up the gate to something I find important: humbleness. This allows you to be humbled, you realize what you did; you know you were a bit too wrapped in it, you weren't wrong, but you weren't right, you were in the middle, you should've handled it better. You are awestruck, you are unable to move, speak, even blink. This is one of time's greatest accomplishments.
Allow for chance. Allow for being humbled, and being humiliated. I feel these are so important. I feel too much though, it's almost scary to think about it and count up the number of times I've ruined things because I acted on emotion instead of thinking it through. Humans are beings of emotion, we are constructed to feel beyond the realm of physicality. It all leads to one center: the heart. The heart races its way to almost beating itself out of your chest, and you start to shake. You shake for more than just the emotion and adrenaline rush you just received, you shake because you know what you did could ruin what you had, what was great. You shake because you understand that life is bigger than this. You shake because you hope you didn't break the only thing that maintained your stability in life. You shake because you know you infringed something horrible upon something amazing, something great.
Yet, the other side isn't willing to see it how you felt it. How is this supposed to work? You even now can at least see their side of it, or at least get a sense of where they are. But when they barely budge, and it involves your heart, your feelings, and they don't move, it makes it out that they don't care at all. How is this fair? Where's the justice? When can I be spared the hurt? Some people just don't understand how honestly painful it can be when you hear
"Well, I think it's okay to choose who I go to."
I agree totally, they should be able to...but when there's a person, the person who it may indirectly affect, involved in this, his or her feelings are on the table now. And the beautiful part about it all, is that person who is indirectly affected and involved, they WANT to be the person to come to, they WANT to HELP. But if you are told by them that they will still choose who they will go to, even in a similar situation, where do you fit in?--what happened to your feelings that are now tied to this?--what about you? What's this going to lead to?--many bad mixed emotions.
How can this get solved? How can you make this better? How can you get closure in such a mess? The other side needs to know that your feelings are on the line,
your feelings are now tied to this, you need to let them know that your heart cracked a bit when they went to that person for something that you are here for.

So, my dear friends, may you be able to rise above your emotions, and may you be able to deal with this better than I can. I hope to eventually master my emotions, even though I'm a human being, a being of emotion. Control over emotions is another way of asking to be slapped in the face...good luck...

New Year, New Beginnings, New Life, New Light

So, it's been a freakin' long time since I've posted anything new on my blog. With the new year now finally here, life can begin and that old slate is wiped clean. I've been through some shit, like everyone else in this world. We all live, laugh, love, and learn. We all endure the toughest shit, but what separates us is the choices we make concerning how to deal and overcome these things. I can't hold back anymore, I've just gotta share everything that's happened since I've last updated you, world, on what's going on in my life.

This is what has happened: I finally dropped that bitch I was dating and couldn't get over, and this happened around the beginning of October, and I haven't seen or talked to her since. That made life so much better and brighter as it is. But then a weird and strange epiphany occurred. There is this girl I've been friends with for about four years, and we tried dating once but it didn't really work out and I just wasn't attracted to her that way. But we remained friends still for the next four years. I just didn't see her as more than a friend. But I did love our friendship and liked having her as a friend. So, after walking away from that bitch of an ex-girlfriend, this friend of mine somehow just looked so good to me. I mean, it just clicked, and from then on, I knew she was gonna become something big in my life. Low and behold, we are together now, and I've never experienced this level, this very degree, of happiness. I've never been more set, secure, and confident in a relationship before, and I cherish her and our very relationship. I don't know how it happened, but it did, and I'm so glad it did. She's just that amazing and that significant. Life has a meaning, a purpose, and a reason now. Everything just makes sense. So, this new year, 2008, is a year to begin with love, happiness, and everything a man could want. This new year is a year of success, accomplishment, and light. I can't wait to see what happens next...